Ok so I have stolen this from Garf’s abridged version of the Advanced Nitrox and Deco procedures course that I went on in June 2005. The full version is available here

Number of times Garf asked JAG if we really had to get up at 4am – 6
Number of Times J.W. looked like he was going to cry when I told him what time we were getting up – 1
Number of Hours sleep we got – 4
Number of hours sleep we could have had if we hadn’t listened to Jag – 6-7
Number of times Garf swore at Jag on the way to portland – LOTS
Number of times we arrived far too bloody early and had to wait for everyone else to arrive – 1
Number of times we laughed before we left about people who bungied themselves to rails – 2
Number of times Gizmo bungied himself to the rail -1
Number of Times J.W. laughed at Gizmo for bunging himself to the Rail – 1
Number of Times J.W. Bungied himself to the rail – 1
Number of times JAG laughed at people for Bunging themselves to the rail – 2
Number of times JAG Bungied himself to the rail – 1
Number of times Garf Laughed at everyone – 4
Number of times Garf danced around the bar grasping his leg and doing a ridicious “Cramp Dance” – 1
Number of minutes everyone laughed at Garf – 6
Number of sets of Keys issued to Garf, Jag and JW – 2
Number of minutes it took Garf to lose keys – 3
Number of Keys returned to Hotel – 1
Number of times Gizmo failed to bungie his twinset to the rail and watched it fall over, smashing the first stage out of the cylinder – 1
Number of times Gizmo looked as if he was about to cry – 1
Number of times JW convined Garf to attempt to lift a lost weightbelt with about 15kg in it – 1
Number of Bars of gas used in the 2 minute it took Garf to realise he was being a shit-for-brains even trying to do simulated deco stops holding 15 extra kg – 40
Number of Yank Bungers andd Chips ordered over weekend 16
Number of times JAG asked the barmaid for “I’d love a yank and chips please” – 2
Number of minutes the double entendre kept everyone giggling like schoolgirls – 4
Number of qualifications earned – 4
Number of times Gasmuncher was asked to Dive with Garf – 4
Number of Times Gasmuncher descended with Garf – 3
Number of times Gas muncher surfaced with Garf – 2
Number of times Gas muncher did Wreck Dive – 2
Number of Wrecks Gas Muncher saw – 1

It was a belter of a weekend, everyone passed their course, and I had a great time keeping an eye on everyone. Weather was superb, dives were superb, and we all had a bloody good laugh. Diving dooesn’t get much better.

I’m sure the individual members of “the team” will be along to post proper reports soon, but I had a great time

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Garf
http://www.yorkshire-divers.co.uk/