Mark’s Diving Journal

Ok so I have stolen this from Garf’s abridged version of the Advanced Nitrox and Deco procedures course that I went on in June 2005.  The full version is available here

      

Number of times Garf asked JAG if we really had to get up at 4am - 6
Number of Times J.W. looked like he was going to cry when I told him what time we were getting up - 1
Number of Hours sleep we got - 4
Number of hours sleep we could have had if we hadn’t listened to Jag - 6-7
Number of times Garf swore at Jag on the way to portland - LOTS
Number of times we arrived far too bloody early and had to wait for everyone else to arrive - 1
Number of times we laughed before we left about people who bungied themselves to rails - 2
Number of times Gizmo bungied himself to the rail -1
Number of Times J.W. laughed at Gizmo for bunging himself to the Rail - 1
Number of Times J.W. Bungied himself to the rail - 1
Number of times JAG laughed at people for Bunging themselves to the rail - 2
Number of times JAG Bungied himself to the rail - 1
Number of times Garf Laughed at everyone - 4
Number of times Garf danced around the bar grasping his leg and doing a ridicious “Cramp Dance” - 1
Number of minutes everyone laughed at Garf - 6
Number of sets of Keys issued to Garf, Jag and JW - 2
Number of minutes it took Garf to lose keys - 3
Number of Keys returned to Hotel - 1
Number of times Gizmo failed to bungie his twinset to the rail and watched it fall over, smashing the first stage out of the cylinder - 1
Number of times Gizmo looked as if he was about to cry - 1
Number of times JW convined Garf to attempt to lift a lost weightbelt with about 15kg in it - 1
Number of Bars of gas used in the 2 minute it took Garf to realise he was being a shit-for-brains even trying to do simulated deco stops holding 15 extra kg - 40
Number of Yank Bungers andd Chips ordered over weekend 16
Number of times JAG asked the barmaid for “I’d love a yank and chips please” - 2
Number of minutes the double entendre kept everyone giggling like schoolgirls - 4
Number of qualifications earned - 4
Number of times Gasmuncher was asked to Dive with Garf - 4
Number of Times Gasmuncher descended with Garf - 3
Number of times Gas muncher surfaced with Garf - 2
Number of times Gas muncher did Wreck Dive - 2
Number of Wrecks Gas Muncher saw - 1

It was a belter of a weekend, everyone passed their course, and I had a great time keeping an eye on everyone. Weather was superb, dives were superb, and we all had a bloody good laugh. Diving dooesn’t get much better.

I’m sure the individual members of “the team” will be along to post proper reports soon, but I had a great time

__________________
Garf
www.yorkshire-divers.co.uk

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